everything hurts so bad right now i cant even sleep. so ive been up for...61 hours now.
my throat is so sore i can barely swallow. my sinuses are killing me. my lips are all scraped up from nervously rubbing them against my teeth the other night. my eyes are sore from pinkeye. but none of that has anything to do with why i cant sleep. i just dont feel right. i feel like im missing something now, some integral part of my existance. and the one thing i want to do is just sleep so i can forget about it and not have to think about it and so i can just dream and put things back to how i fear they only ever can be in my dreams. but im denied even that, so this is where my fall from sanity begins. im 61 hours into the end.
i think i lost that something the moment she said she didnt know if she loved me anymore. since then things just feel...its like the feeling when your foot's been asleep for a long time and you cant really feel it anymore because its all numb and dead, only its my consciousness that feels like that, and i cant wake up.
-me
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