so many thoughts running through my head.
i tried so hard. to be everything for her. all i ever asked for was for her to be with me. i just wanted her to want me. i supported her 100% through everything. i did everything i could to make her happy. we had so much fun. we went through so much together.
i didnt change. im still the same guy that will do anything for her and support her in any way possible. i still love her. im just alone in that now. im just alone. i guess she thinks that will make things better. better for her. used to be it was me that made things better. being part of the solution turned into being part of the problem, i guess.
she still has my ring that was a promise ring for a while and then wasnt again. it fits her better too, but i doubt she's wearing it anymore.
so, as spontaneously as she entered my life, now she is leaving, only its not back to square one for me. im much worse off now.
am i mad? ive never been mad at her. never. im just hurt that a relationship like ours that was so great for so long could culminate in a break up phone call. i think we could have worked things out. though really i guess there's not too much you can do when someone just loses interest in you. thats the part that hurts. i know i fucked up sometimes. i know i was definitely not perfect. but i thought i was maybe finally the right guy for her, and she was definitely the right girl for me. i think we had a future. all i ever wanted was to take care of her and make her happy, but i failed.
would i take her back if given the opportunity? in a heartbeat. i love her so much. but chances of that opportunity arising a second time are looking slim this time.
every time things are looking good for me, every time i have something great, something beautiful, it all goes away. right at that point where i can look at my life and my future, and i take that nice relaxed sigh of contentment and say, ahhh this is exactly where i want to be, its right then that god comes down and kicks me in the face and says, nope just kidding. game over, you lose. please play again. insert coins to continue. but man, im almost out of quarters.
i love you.
i know you dont anymore, but i just want you to know that i do, and always will. i'm still here.
-me
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